Expectations

We all have expectations about the way certain things will play out, especially significant life events. My expectations for last weekend were that Ryan's parents would get into town on Friday. Ryan and I would go to his work holiday party on Friday night. All day Saturday and Sunday, we would work on getting the house ready for baby. Things on that list included installing a car seat, packing a hospital bag, coming up with a plan in case baby arrives in the middle of the night (i.e. finding a babysitter for Hudson), and coming up with a girl's name we liked just in case. Well, as you already know, nothing went as planned! Here are a few things I wasn't expecting:

-To be angry with my husband as I'm going into labor
-To be driving myself to the hospital
-To not feel excitement from Ryan about the baby's imminent arrival
-To not have a car seat installed
-To not have a hospital bag packed
-To not have a name picked
-To not have a babysitter planned for Hudson
-To not have a last minute to cherish alone time with Hudson
-To not have Hudson visit me in the hospital
-To not go into labor without pitocin
-To not have Ryan present for my epidural
-To not have any tearing after giving birth
-To have a tiny baby
-To have a little girl
And most importantly....

-To none of this mattering.

I got so caught up in all of these details, that I lost sight of the larger picture that the things that matter were all accounted for:
-That my husband was present for the baby's birth
-That our families are willing to drop everything for us when we needed them
-That I was healthy
-That our baby was healthy
-That we have one more child to share our hearts with
And THAT is what's really important.