30 isn't so bad....if you have a wonderful husband...

After all of the worrying and the tears, this is what I woke up to today:Well, that and an adorable toddler insanely happy over the abundance of balloons, a loving husband, and a dozen of red roses. The day only got better as I had a spa date with a massage, manicure, and pedicure, followed by a (child-less) dinner out at Ruth's Chris. My husband took care of the details (making reservations, arranging for a sitter, etc). As if that wasn't enough, he gave me a card in the car and explained that my gift was a weekend away at the Congress Hall Hotel in Cape May, NJ with an oceanview room at the end of September. Later at dinner, I told him that he really shouldn't have and he went into an explanation for his motives, expressing how grateful he was for all that I do for him and for Hudson and for all of my patience with his long work hours. I just stared at him in amazement. Is he for real??? And is he really mine???? How did I get so lucky?

I've been meaning to write a post for days now to sing Ryan's praises and I think now is an opportune moment. What he did for me today was something that I'm so grateful for. Had he stopped with the balloons and roses, I would have been head over heels (he knows that I love balloons and flowers, yet he never gets them for me, so it was the thought behind the gesture that left me speechless). But Ryan's actions today are but a small glimpse into the wonderful soul that he is.

The real reason that I wanted to write a post for him was more about the way he treats Hudson. He is a better father than I could have imagined. He never bats an eye at parenting responsibilities. He never shies away from the challenges. He has more patience than I thought one person could possess. But above all of that, he wants to do these things. He gets home from work and rushes to be Hudson's play mate. If Hudson wants to go to the park (which is a given), he takes him. Not only will he take him, he will tell me how much it melts his heart to have Hudson lead him to the door and hand him his shoes. The love that pours out of his voice is something that can't be put into words. He successfully balances the demands of his career with making sure that his priority is his family. He apologizes when he can't help around the house and makes every effort to split our chores. He recognizes the importance of discussing key aspects to our parenting and to our relationship, such as how to approach religion with Hudson. In fact, his generous gift of a weekend away speaks to his attention to the needs of our relationship as husband and wife. He realized that we were getting burned out and needed some time to focus on us. In short, he's unlike any man that I have ever met. And I count my blessings that he's mine.
While my birthday was so special and everything that Ryan did for me exceeded any expectation that I had, I really want to thank him, not for today, but for every other day, when his partnership is in response to the daily routine rather than for a special occasion. Knowing that he is by my side, through thick and thin, in poopy diapers and vomit-soaked clothing, makes this new decade seem much more bearable. I love you Ry!

Getting older...

...and unfortunately, I'm talking about myself this time and not Hudson.

So, I turn 30 on Tuesday. The big 3-0. In just 4 more short days. I didn't really expect it to affect me as much as it is. I'm fully anticipating a Rachel Green birthday in the Friends episode titled "The one where they all turn thirty". Well, not so much the whole "being upset because I'm not married and I'm dating Tag who isn't cute at all", but more so the tears and the reassurance from friends.

I think most people are shocked when I tell them how much this is bothering me, but let me explain.....

See, after becoming a mom, I feel like I've lost myself. Or more adequately stated, I've become someone else. I used to be the girl who loved to get all dolled up in the newest and trendiest clothes and make-up, go out with friends, get drinks, and have a good time. It was a nice and selfish period. I did everything for myself and/or Ryan. Ever since Hudson arrived, that girl has disappeared and I miss her. Tremendously. This new girl is lucky if her hair is cut and her legs are shaved, let alone worried about if her clothes are in style. Heck, this new girl doesn't even know what types of clothes are in style. I feel like turning 30 will solidify that the old girl is gone forever.

The second reason I don't want to welcome this new decade is because, well, I LOVED my twenties. They were good to me. I was in college, having the time of my life. I turned 21. I moved across the country. I had my first real job. I bought my first car. I started grad school. I got engaged to my soulmate. I got married and had the wedding of my dreams. I traveled through Europe. I got pregnant. I had my first child. For most of my 20s, I was that old girl that I'm missing so much right now. I did what I wanted to do, when I wanted to do it. I celebrated so many firsts and milestones. I'm not ready to close that chapter of my life.

Turning 30 feels like the turning point of no longer being young and carefree, but rather being grown and responsible. Gone are the days of splurging on $200 jeans and staying out until 4am and here (to stay) are the days of paying mortgages and college funds. I'm having a hard time realizing the fun that is to come in this decade.

I admit, I feel silly even writing this stuff. I have a wonderful husband, a healthy son (and another on the way...well, maybe a daughter, but I think son), a loving family, amazing friends, and a beautiful home. I recognize all that I've been blessed with and don't mean to discount that at all. Maybe it's just the surge of pregnancy hormones or the fact that I have not slept for 8 straight hours in over two years (by the way, that's no exaggeration. There has not been one night that I've had uninterrupted sleep for 2+ years). Or maybe there is some justification in my feelings. Whatever it is, I hope that it takes it easy on me on Tuesday....

If you're 30, please leave me some comments about how great the decade is. I'm looking for some inspiration and hope.

Video to come,,,

I know I posted a teaser of an adorable video, but I can't get it to upload. I have to wait until my technical advisor (aka my husband) gets back from his business trip in California to assist. Check back soon....

Too cute to not post!

I've really been wanting to have a long post with pictures of the last couple of months. We've had some great things to blog about (our trip to Maine, our friends coming to visit, all of Hudson's new words, etc), but I just haven't found the time to upload pictures. But, I HAD to post about his newest phrase because it's beyond cute. I'm warning you....you might pass out from cuteness overload!

On Sunday, Ryan and I hung out around the house with Hudson all day. It was raining in the morning, so it was a great lazy Sunday (after we went to get these donuts in our pajamas). Hudson was just playing around the house and anytime he would drop something or bump something he would say "Oh Dear!". Ryan and I were hysterical! In fact, I can't stop from laughing as I type this. Neither of us use this phrase, so we can only assume that he picked it up from Joyce (our nanny).

While I'm typing, I'll just add a few more cute things he did yesterday. For about the last week, he has started to say "pee-pee" and "poop" while pointing to his diaper. Most of the time, we noticed he was saying it after he did the deed, but we were happy to see him putting words with the action. We weren't planning on potty-training until after the baby is born, but he is starting to show signs of readiness, so we bought a potty yesterday. Sometimes he says "poop" and then farts, so I think he's getting there!

Lastly, I have this obsession with Fall right now. I just love the comfort of warm sweaters in the crisp Fall air, anything and everything pumpkin, yummy flavored lattes, and, of course, Steeler football!! The rainy weather yesterday had me particularly wishful that it were Fall, so as soon as we got back from getting donuts, I put on the NFL network. All day, we watched NFL highlights from last year (including the AFC championship game twice, the NFC championship game, and Superbowl XLIII). Hudson was so into it! He just sat on my lap and watched as we schooled him in Steeler football. He explained to him who Ben was and who the "bad guys" were (i.e. The Ravens). He kept saying "Kick!", but we tried to explain that punting wasn't good while we were on offense. He loves to cheer, although we have to make sure he doesn't cheer when the other team scores. He learned to shout "Dee-fense!" and most importantly, "HEEEEAAAAATTTTHHHH!".

Parenting Priorities

I love Hudson, I really do. I do everything I can to give him what he needs and be there for him.

BUT... sometimes I like to indulge in a little video game playing on my iPhone. Apparently, Hudson's not too keen on my self-indulgance. As you can see in this picture (which was taken about 2 minutes after I started playing), he's doing everything he can to get my attention. I guess I need to re-evaluate my priorities as a parent. At least according to Hudson!