Lemonade from lemons

This blog post has been writing itself all day.  In fact, it started in the wee hours of the night.  Hayes has been rather fussy and battling a fever.  He and I had a series of 45 minute naps all night until 4:30a when we crashed for two hours (finally).  Ryan woke me at 6:30a to say goodbye as he was headed to a conference in San Francisco (I had already been uneasy about this - a direct Tuesday morning flight from Newark to SFO was all too reminiscent of another flight that set out on that route 12 years ago).  I heard him close our front door and within 5 seconds heard Hadley calling for Daddy from her bed.  By the time I opened my eyes, I saw Hudson walking up the stairs into my room.  Rise and shine.

We managed to get through breakfast and the rest of the morning routine pretty smoothly.  I walked the kids to school and made it on time.  The day is already a success.
 
I had plans to get coffee with a new friend in Jersey City.  Her son is good friends with Hudson and we have gone out a few times for coffee (yay for new friends!).  I really enjoy chatting with her and having adult conversations, even if we're somewhat distracted by wrangling our little ones.  I called the pediatrician to schedule a visit for Hayes given his state overnight.  The only available time was right smack in the middle of our coffee date.  Looks like that would need to get rescheduled.

I get Hayes in the car to get to the doctor and realize that the last time I gave him Motrin was 3a. At 11:30a, it had worn off and I could tell his fever was spiking again.  We get to the doctor and find out that his fever is 103.  The doc checks his ears and, at first glance, says they looked clear.  She decided to look in the left one again and realized that it was red, thus diagnosing him with an ear infection.  For some reason, his first ear infection, especially before he was a year old, made me feel like somewhat of a failure.  It's easy to get lax by the third child, much less vigilant of keeping their hands and toys free of germs.  So, I feel responsible for not doing a better job of protecting him.  I also learned that pediatricians aren't automatically prescribing antibiotics for ear infections so her advice was to monitor for 48 hours.  That will take me right through my days of single parenting.  Fantastic.

We get home and Hayes sleeps on my chest all day.  Lethargic and unable to sleep comfortably in his crib, I accept that I will spend my day snuggling him.  My stomach and bladder were unhappy with that setup as it meant no lunch and no bathroom trips. 

I go to pick Hadley up at school for her dentist appointment.  Hayes seemed much better after his Motrin, nap, and some lunch.  I had a great car ride conversation with Hadley.  She told me that she was learning about Beethoven in school and he was a great musician, but he had crazy grey hair and didn't sing the words to his songs.  Love this girl :)

We get to the dentist and Hadley is a perfect angel.  The dentist, who was gorgeous and looked to be a good 10 years younger than me, was cleaning her teeth and found a small cavity.  Oh no! Once again, I failed one of my children.  I felt just awful.  During her surge of independence, Hadley has often been asking to brush herself without our help.  We get so caught up in all of the other routines that accompany teeth brushing in both the morning and night that we relish in the fact that she has taken a responsibility away from us.   Only to learn we probably shouldn't have handed this over to her so quickly.  The dentist said it was so small and that she could fill it right then. The dentist and the hygienist were wonderful with Hadley, but it was my sunshine who was the star of the show.  She sat there and did every thing they asked of her without even batting an eye.  They kept mumbling to one another how well she was doing.  At the end, the dentist looked at me and said "She is probably the best 3 year old patient I had.  Not just today, not in my past, but probably in my future too." I thanked her for the kind words and said that Hadley was a really good girl.  Do you know what the dentist said to me? She said "it's a sign of what a good mother you are".  Wow.  I needed to hear that.  Especially today. Thank you.

We left the dentist to pick up Hudson from school.  In place of our coffee date, my friend and I decided to get the kids together after school.  It was poor planning on my part.  Hayes was getting hungry and fussy, it was getting close to dinner, it was brisk outside, Hudson wasn't listening (just being silly with his friend). I ended the play date short to get the kids home and get dinner.

A few hours later, I go to pack the kids lunches and can't find Hudson's lunchbox.  I immediately know where it is...still at the park we played at after school.  I couldn't fathom taking all three kids back out in the dark.  I thought about asking a neighbor to watch the kids, but there's no one that I'm that comfortable with (Baltimore, I miss you).  I thought about asking the friend we playing with if she would mind running out to look for the lunchbox since I knew she had help at home.  In the end, I couldn't ask for help (this is a problem of mine), so I strapped Hayes in the Ergo, put the other two in the stroller with a blanket and set out with a flashlight in hand. The lunchbox wasn't where we left it, but after a few rounds of walking through the park, we found the box and its contents (in different places). 

Feeling a strange mix of defeat (for all the challenges presented today) and pride (for how I responded), I walked the kids home and talked to them about how I needed them to listen when we got home and get ready for bed.  Maybe it was my exasperated expression I wore on my face or maybe it was our little pep talk, but amazingly, the kids listened.  They got ready for bed without a hitch.  The four of us were sitting on Hadley's bed and Hudson says "we should have a family snuggle". And we did.

I sat back thinking about today and realized how easy it is to get caught up in how disappointed I could have been.  First ear infection, first cavity, no parenting help, failed play date, lost lunch box, cold dinner at 9p, etc.  But as I thought back, so many of the positives outshone the negatives. The dentist's comments to me, Hadley's amazing behavior, Hayes having only a minor health issue, Hudson's affection, Hadley's conversations, Ryan's safe arrival in SF.  After readjusting my focus I was able to look back on today and think "Wow, I'm pretty amazing and life is good."

#lemonade
#adaywithoutadultconversationleadstonovelsforblogposts