My heart is in the work.

Some days, parenting is just hard (okay, most days, parenting is hard).  The majority of the tough days come from a combination of whines, cries, defiance, and fitting everything in during a 24 hour period. But then there are the days like I had a few days ago.  The days when difficulty arises from our anxieties about parenthood, about our choices, our values, and our abilities to pass those on to our children.  I am a firm believer of trusting my gut, while at the same time being an intentional parent and not passive in my decision making. This approach requires a lot of work. I do my fair share of research on a topic, internalize and process what I learned, then make an informed decision based on what the "experts" say (the researchers and authors) and the true experts on our kids (me and Ryan).  I try to determine when there is hype and where there is validity. The perfect example is sleep training.  I've read the books. I've read the research.  I've listened to other's sob and success stories.  In the end, we had to go with our gut and choose what is right for us.

Despite all of my research and thought behind parenting, there's a fine line to walk.  You have to be mindful and not get swept up in things that may seem to matter, but really don't.  Your kid is saying his ABCs at 18m?  Great, but I'm okay if my kid isn't.  Your kid is reading at age 4? That's awesome, but it's not going to make me judge my kid if he/she isn't.  In fact, it seems that "kindergarten is the new first grade"; we are getting so caught up in the race to doing things earlier, faster, and better, that we often aren't thinking about the impacts this has on our children.

Ryan and I discuss our thoughts and goals for raising our children and then base our actions on all of this.  As you can imagine, it's work.  A lot of it.  When approaching all of parenting this way, it's near impossible to fit everything in.  Some things slide.  The other day was just a reminder for me that I was slipping and needed to get my feet back on the ground and get back to work.

I don't think Andrew Carnegie had parenting in mind when he said "my heart is in the work", but there isn't a role that fits that quote better than the work of being a parent.  My heart is in it, fully dedicated and committed.

#parentingishard