The Deadly Lion King

Despite being connected 24/7 and having a video camera available on my iPhone at every moment of the day, it always seems that there are moments that I would love to capture for all of eternity yet they sneak by.  Man, what I would give to have this moment on video to watch over and over again...

Let me set the scene.  Hudson is taking piano lessons at school and has been since February.  He's not a big fan of piano and getting him to practice at home is liking pulling teeth.  He has a recital coming up and we've been working on Ode to Joy with him.

The school had an informal showing for the parents.  I totally messed up and forgot to mark my calendar so I get a call at 5:37p asking if we are coming (the showing started at 5:30).  I hurry up, tell Hudson put on nicer clothes, throw Hayes in the stroller and make Hudson and Hadley run with me to school (only a block away).  We rush in and the other students have just finished their pieces, so Hudson is up.  In the rush to leave, I grabbed my camcorder (is that what they're still called?) since I knew my phone would run out of space.  Hudson stands up, says his name and the title of his pieces, plays, bows, and sit back down with the other students.  I got it all on tape right before the battery dies. At this point, the piano teacher asks the students if they have any other pieces they would like to share.  Three students raise their hands.  One of them is Hudson.  HUH??? My mind is racing to think what other pieces he might remember.  Since he hates to practice, nothing really comes to mind.  So....

The first student walks to the piano and introduces her piece.  She said she will now play Fur Elise and busts it out.  With no sheet music.  Beethoven.  I look over at the mom and smile.  She smiles back and said "I taught her that at home."

Okay, now I'm panicking a bit because what the F*&# is Hudson going to play.

Ms. Cassie, the teacher, asks for volunteers again, and again, Hudson raises his hand.  Another student is asked to come up.

The second student walks up and my mind is racing so I'm not sure what she says she's going to play. She sits there, with no sheet music, and plays this long, beautiful piece.  I watch her focus and count beats by nodding her head, pausing when appropriate.  Everyone claps.

Once again, Ms. Cassie asks if anyone has a piece they want to share.  Hudson walks up.  "Oh man, this is going to be epic" is what goes through my head.

Hudson says "My piece is called the Deadly Lion King". Ummmm, what is about to happen?

He sits down and starts to play on the low end of the piano and then the high.  Then a few notes on the low end and a few more on the high.  This goes on for what feels like 10 mins.   It's taking everything I have to not bust at the seams.

People clap, I'm cracking up, and Hudson is proud.

As we walk home, I ask him about his piece.  He tells me that the low notes were for the Daddy (he was Mufasa in the school play) and the high notes were for the Mommy. I complement him on his creativity and kick myself for not having this performance on video.  I still crack up every time I replay it in my mind. "My piece is called the Deadly Lion King". OMG, I love this kid.

#DeadlyLionKing
#epickidmoment

Sometimes you just get it right.

Living in a world of excess, I often struggle with how my kids will learn gratitude.  I don't give in to every request, but more often than not, my kids just get things because they can.  Maybe it's the $3 Mario minifigure that Hudson requests when we are at Target, or it's the $10 marker set that I pick up for Hadley just because I know she likes to color.  Not because it's their birthdays or Christmas.  But just because...well...why not?  It's easy to justify by thinking "eh, it's the same price as a cup of Starbucks and it will make them so (temporarily) happy".  I'm trying to be more mindful of this and constantly talking about how much the kids have to be grateful for.  While it's easy to give material examples to satisfy their need for concrete reasoning, I often wonder if I'm cutting them short by not discussing the more abstract "things" to be thankful for.  Either way, I'm trying harder and harder to implement a sense of gratitude.  One way I've been doing this is in their nightly prayers.

We have a routine of saying prayers like this:
"Now I lay me down to sleep
I pray the Lord my soul to keep
That angels watch me through the night
Until I wake in the morning light.
Dear God, Thank you so much for this wonderful day. Today we....  And now we're getting ready to go night night.  We pray for all of our friends and family like Mom Mom and Pop Pop, Grami and Pappy, Uncle Kevin and Colleen, Uncle Bobby and Baby Riley, and Uncle Joey. We pray for Mommy, and Daddy, and Hudson, and Hadley, and Hayes, and Ruby.  We pray for all of our friends and teachers in Baltimore and all of our friends and teachers in New Jersey.  We pray that we have a great night's sleep and a wonderful day tomorrow. Amen."

At the end of the summary of our day, I've been asking the kids what they were thankful for that day.  On the first night, Hadley thinks for a minute and says "You.  I'm thankful for you." (I'm tearing up just typing that).  Then she continues "Actually I'm thankful for our whole family.  Daddy and Hayes and Hudson too".  "Wow", I tell her.  "Hadley, that is a wonderful thing to be thankful for".  Not to be outdone, Hudson hears the praise I'm giving her and says "I have a good one too.  I'm thankful for Old Pap."  My grandfather, "Old Pap", passed away in November.  (Someone please hand my mom a tissue.).

Wow, I thought, wow.  Maybe I'm doing something right.

#gratitudeattitude
#familyiswhatitsallabout

**UPDATE**
So, I started this post a few days ago and didn't get to finish.  Last night, we went through the same routine.  Again, when asked what she was thankful, Hadley pointed to me. "Awww, thanks Had.  I'm thankful for you too".  But then she starting shaking her head.  She does this thing where she doesn't want to talk so instead does a series of grunts and noises to try to make a point.  She grabs my necklace and says "ehhh".  "My necklace?  You're thankful for my necklace?"  "UMM HUH!!" Then my rings she grabs "ehhh".  "And you're thankful for my rings?"  Nodding happily, "UH HUH!!"
Okay so maybe we have to work on the material possession thing.  She did say she was thankful for me before she said she was thankful for diamonds....
#diamondsarepretty
#girlsbestfriend

Things To Not Forget: TTNF

So the blur of November and December has passed, and wait, it looks like January is gone too.  Having three kids' birthdays within 6 weeks of each other, sandwiched between Thanksgiving and Christmas, along with a Type A birthday-momzilla is not a good combo.  I had a first birthday party to plan in another state.  And those who know me well know that the Prichard family motto is "Go big or go home".  I had been pinning things for Hayes's monster birthday party for months while at the same time going on a creative binge of all things Lego for Hudson's 6th birthday.  Between the hand made minifig chocolates and gummies, the personalized Lego coloring sheets, and every possible monster-themed item known to man for Hayes's party, I was spent.  My poor middle child, who already gets the short end of my attention stick, was given the unfortunate position of having a birthday after the boys and right before Christmas.  She didn't have a theme in mind, so she ended up with a pre-packaged party at a bounce house and was no less happy for it.  I had every intention of an awesome blog post of each of their parties, partly because I wanted to have a record of the day and partly because I was proud of all my hard work, but it seems silly at this point, so I won't look behind and just keep on truckin' forward.

I've been thinking about this blog for days (weeks?) now and have been wanting to write, but I've been struggling with the time.  Hayes hasn't been taking naps in solid chunks (waking after 30-40 mins, yet still tired, so I have to hold him in order for him to get in another 30-40 mins).  When he's awake, my eyes are fixated on him. His newfound mobility has left me on high alert all day long.  In one day a few weeks ago, he managed to fall down the stairs, open a bottle of kids' nail polish and eat the brush, eat hand sanitizer, eat hand cream....do you see the trend here?  I can't take my eyes off of him.  So forget about sitting down at my desk and focusing on coherent words.  Not. Happening.

That leaves post-bedtime.  I would love to hear how other moms' nights go, but this is what mine looks like.
5p - scrambling to finish dinner and get it to the whining, hungry kids
5:30p - give dinner to the kids
5:45p - Ryan gets home, changes, and scarfs down some food
6:15p - Ryan gets Hayes into the bath, I eat cold food while standing and cleaning the kitchen
6:45p - Do the Hayes handoff back to me.  Good night kisses for brother and sister
7p - Nursing Hayes in the dark, checking email and Facebook
7:30p - Hayes is asleep in his crib and I sneak back downstairs to find the kids and Ryan sitting on the couch or getting out of the bath, urging them to brush their teeth
7:45p - still waiting for teeth to be brushed while listening to every excuse possible
8p - Ryan and Hadley are reading books on the bottom bunk and me and Hudson reading on the top
8:20p - I leave Hudson to read alone for a little bit while Ryan lays with Hadley. I either finish cleaning the kitchen or take a shower
9p - Finish shower/ get dressed.  Start to clean up the rest of the house
9:30p - Look at the clock and curse at the fact that there is still stuff everywhere.  How am I not done cleaning yet?!?
9:45p - Time to relax! At least until Hayes wakes up in 45 minutes.

As you can see, there's not much time carved out to blog.  I could start at 10p (like tonight), but my brain is usually fried and I just want to drink wine and watch TV with Ryan (this is usually my first chance to talk with him without constant interruptions) or jump in bed and read a little.

Anyways, that was a VERY longwinded way to say I'm still trying to figure out how to fit blogging into my life.  There are so many things that I want to remember about being a mom.  I see this as a place to store that.  Sorta like a never ending baby book.  A place to share all of those things that the kids do or say that don't have a pre-designated space in a dusty book that I barely open anyways.  I spent my shower trying to think of a good acronym for those quotes/moments and the best I could come up with is TTNF - "Things To Not Forget".  I hope to make quick updates tagged TTNF so that I can go back and read these things and smile at the memory.

Today, Hudson gave me a perfect example of a TTNF post.  Hadley had ballet today, so it was just me and Hudson (and Hayes) walking home from school.  This was our conversation:
Me: How was your day?
Hudson: Good.  There's a girl, Aliza, in my class and she wants to marry me.  [This was said right as we passed another mom.  She put her hand over her mouth to hide her giggle as I smile].
Me: Oh, wow! Why does she want to marry you?
Hudson: Because I'm nice to her. Mom, can you come to pick me up a little later tomorrow [School ends at 3:15p and I got there around 3:05p today]
Me: Sure.  Why do you want me to come later?
Hudson: So that I can spend time with her (referring to Aliza).

I was loving this conversation and tried to extend it, but Hudson didn't have much more to say.  Later, we got into the house and he said "Mom, can you remind me to talk with Aliza tomorrow?  I need to talk to her about this."

I am still smiling thinking about this.  What struck me so much and made me so happy was the innocence with which he spoke. It was so nonchalant.  "Yeah, there's a girl who wants to marry me."  It was said the same way he would talk about how his friends gave each other ninja names.  It was such a stark contrast to hear him talk about something so mature like that.  It made me realize that he's growing up.  That kids are starting to talk about adult things.  And that one day, in the near future, he will be giddy and shy and bashful talking about girls with me.  So I just relished in the moment and am happy relive it.

Six

Hudson turned 6 years old today.  There's something different about this birthday. Maybe it's the lanky body that barely fits on my lap.  Maybe it's Hudson's blossoming literacy.  Maybe it's the fact that I now have to shop in the Boys' Department in clothing stores.  For some reason, today feels strangely sad.  Six no longer means baby or toddler, even though Hudson will always be my first "baby".

There have been many days, and many, MANY nights, when I have wished for him to grow up.  Times when I prayed he would start to do things by himself.  When will he put on his own clothes?  When will he go to sleep by himself? When will he stay in his bed all night? As all of these life skills are mastered, I'm seeing less of my little boy who needs me and more of the independent boy I dreamed he would be.

Throughout these six years, Hudson and I have walked hand in hand throughout parenting.  Without a manual, I learned to trust my gut and listen to his cues.  He has guided me. There have been many times when I doubted my decisions and the paths that we chose.  Today, he gave me a sign that we were doing just fine. We had his traditional Montessori birthday celebration at school.  We talked about each year of Hudson's life.  When we got to year six, his teacher looked at him and asked "Hudson, what is it that you like to do now that you're six?".  I waited for the expected answer, that he likes to play with Legos or likes to watch football.  Instead, Hudson replied "I like to play with my Dad.  And my baby. And my sister".  In that moment, as I beamed and blinked back tears, I knew we have done something right.

Hudson James, as you say goodbye to your toddler years and continue your journey through life, please know that I want nothing more than for you to share your kindness with the world. I see it everyday, from the way you tenderly watch after your brother and sister to the way you care for the other children in your classroom to the unprompted hugs and "I love you"s that you shower me with each day.  Every day, stories of evil and corruption flood my newsfeeds, leaving me questioning humanity. Instead of feeling discouraged, I think of you and how the kindness you bring to the world makes it a better place. I pray that your kind spirit is what leads you through life.  If there is one message I could give to you, it's that there is no amount of success, achievement, or accolades in this world that could replace your kindness.  Please don't ever lose it.

Happy birthday Hudson James.

#tearfulmommy

Someone pinch me!!

I never thought this day would come. Ever. I fully anticipated that I would go off to CMU with Hudson and need to rock my 18-year old son to sleep. But now I have hope. For two straight days he has allowed me to rock him for a few minutes then put him into his crib awake and let me walk out of his room. With no tears (for either of us). For both his nap and at bedtime. It's a sleeping miracle!! It has been really cute. I think he's internalizing his big brother status. I tell him how proud I am of him for going to bed on his own and he tells me "Hudson pillow. Hug Birdie. Hadley Grace cry." which translates to "Hudson lays on his pillow, hugging his Big Bird because Mommy has to leave to get Hadley Grace who is crying".

We're so proud of you Hudson James!

Our Christmas in review

I know this is a bit late, but better late than never, right??

We had a WONDERFUL Christmas. We were lucky enough to have both families travel to us. Ryan's parents, my parents, our 3 brothers were all here to celebrate the holiday. On Christmas Eve, we had a nice dinner, complete with a fight over the holiday nut (for those of you not familiar with this tradition, we hide a nut in the dessert (this year we had a banana pudding) and the person to get the nut is supposed to have a year of good luck. Ryan's competitive nature takes over and this becomes a bit of a blood bath. Rules have been created to keep people in check. Much to Ryan's chagrin, I got the nut (again)!) :)

After the nut fiasco, I asked Hudson if he wanted to leave Santa milk and cookies. We went to get milk and Hudson protested. Instead he wanted to leave Santa cookies and coffee creamer. Sorry about that Santa!

Christmas morning was so fun! Our house was an explosion of gifts since everyone was visiting. Hudson took the first gift, opened it slowly, then wanted to play with it right away. It took a good 15 minutes to get through one gift! He slowly got through all of them (and there were a ton!). He really enjoyed playing with everything...especially the tool bench :)

Sadly, we didn't make it to church. I really wanted to take both kids, but it has gotten exponentially harder to do so.

Here are some of my favorite pics from the day.

It's still too early for Hadley - she's yawning. Even all of the gifts couldn't take Hudson away from his sister!

Hudson in his new recliner

Hadley in her Christmas dress

Me and my angels

Still hugging Hadley! I hope this lasts when they are teenagers!

Christmas was so tiring that Hudson fell asleep while brushing his teeth

Time for an update!

I really should be working on my dissertation right now, but due to a becoming a Mac user and not having my technical adviser (aka Ryan) available, I'm stuck on something right. So I thought I'd take the time to post an update.

Everything is going great! I can NOT believe that Hadley is one month old!! It really makes me so sad. I didn't get this emotional with Hudson as he aged because I always knew that I would some day have another little baby to hold. But now that we have a little boy and a little girl, Hadley could be the last baby of my own that I cradle and comfort. So it breaks my heart to see that her newborn clothing is actually starting to fit and that her preemie clothes are now too small.

Hudson is totally and utterly smitten with Hadley. He hasn't shown any signs of jealousy. He is constantly kissing her, sometimes too much as he routinely wakes her up because he's kissing and hugging her. He always wants to hold her. He pets her and says "soft". When he kisses her, he says "Mmmmm good!". He calls her "Hadley Grace" all of the time which is adorable. He likes to point to certain features on her (like her ears and fingers) and say "teeny". He has been a wonderful big brother.

Hadley is still sleeping her days (and nights!) away. She probably sleeps for 22 hours each day. At night, she has pretty much been sleeping in our bed since the day she came home. The other night we broke new ground and she slept in her cosleeper bassinet from 11p-1a, ate, and then went back to sleep in there until 4a. At 4, I was too tired and just nursed her in bed. During the day, however, she prefers to be held over her swing or bouncer chair. This should make for an interesting task - completing my dissertation with a baby in one arm! Sometimes I can position her in the boppy, all cuddled up, and she'll stay asleep which buys me some time. Otherwise, I can wear her on my chest in the Moby wrap and she's content. See?

In addition to his big brother role, Hudson has lots of other cute things he's doing right now. He's been saying "Waaaas 'at?" (read: What's that?) with the cutest little intonations. He's started to play independently (which has been a life saver). His favorite toys are his trains, puzzles, cars, toolbench, and art easel. He loves the Wiggles and recently revived his interest in Signing Times. His favorite thing to tell you is about everyone that is "gone" (i.e. not home or visiting). Just about every morning he wakes up and says "Grami gone, Pappy gone, Mom Mom gone, Pop Pop gone, Joey gone, Bobby gone, Kevin gone". He literally goes through the entire list. And as soon as Daddy goes to work, he's "gone" too!

As for me, I'm adapting to the new role as a mom of two. Some of the emotions I had before have faded. For example, I was so sad to think about not having individual time with Hudson, but now I see how happy he is with Hadley and don't bat an eye at that. He's also become so attached to Daddy since they have more time together. Hudson hasn't shown interest in nursing (I was afraid he might regress). However, some of the guilt I had before has carried over. I still don't feel as connected with Hadley. I feel like she comes in 2nd alot of times since Hudson might need immediate attention. I don't feel the same anxiety about her every cry as I did with Hudson. I don't have that same heart-wrenching feeling that she needs me all of the time and I would actually be willing to leave her for a little while if I had to (whereas with Hudson, I didn't leave him overnight until he was 22 months old!). Maybe it's just that I have experience now, so I'm not as worried. I don't feel like I engage her as much as I did with Hudson. I was always talking to him, making faces while changing his diaper, etc. With Hadley, I feel like I'm always preoccupied and just happen to have her in my arms. I am constantly thinking that she must sense these things and know how I'm feeling. Then I worry that she'll interpret it as me not loving her as much as her brother. I know that I'm overthinking this, but that's just what I do!

Okay, enough with the sadness! Here are some happy pictures to enjoy :)

All good things come to an end.

Hudson and I have officially ended our nursing relationship as of June 9th. We had a good run filled with lots of cuddling and bonding time. I never anticipated nursing for 4 days shy of 19 months, but I wouldn't change a thing.

Looking back, it's interesting to think of the path I took to nurse. I was formula-fed as were my brothers. I was 15 when my mom had my younger brother, so I was old enough to remember the bottles and the formula. Naturally, I thought I would formula-feed my children too. But, the minute that second line appeared on the pregnancy test, the analyst in me began researching every little thing that I could. Breastfeeding happened to be one of them. Everything I read praised the benefits of breastfeeding: "Breastfed babies have higher IQs...", "Breastfed babies have fewer behavior problems...", "Breastfeeding is cheaper than formula-feeding..." The list went on and on. I was pretty apprehensive about the whole thing since, well, I'm pretty sensitive in that area and wasn't sure I was going to enjoy having a baby latched on. Won't it tickle? Won't it hurt? Can I be sure that I can watch my diet close enough to ensure good milk? My worries are too endless to list. In fact, if you went through my pregnancy with me, I'm sure you've heard about my nightmares related to breastfeeding (including my baby being born with teeth, me trying to nurse a kitten, etc).

Despite my concerns, I knew that I was still going to try to nurse. It felt too selfish of me to not. The only reasons that I could find against breastfeeding were ones that benefited me. "Breastfed babies don't sleep as long at night...", "Formula-feeding allows you to share responsibility with your husband...", "Breastfeeding is demanding on a mother..". As some of you know, I find it a challenge when people question my strength and determination to do something (why else would I have run a marathon or worked towards a PhD?!?). In fact, it has earned me the nickname "Heath" (after my boy Heath Miller). My point is that I accepted the challenges that breastfeeding would present. Why? Because it was best for my son. Little did I know, it was best for me too.

Our nursing relationship had a bit of a rocky start. Hudson was a bit jaudiced in the hospital. He had lost weight, but we were approved to leave 2 days later. As for me, my breasts were sore, tender, and bloody, as if I was marking myself with my first badge of honor as a mother. Our first few days home, I would cringe and my toes would curl in pain as he would latch on. But my son needed me and I was ready to do all I could do provide for him.

After our first pediatrician appointment a few days later, we were referred to a lactation consultant (LC) since Hudson hadn't regained his weight. I was so hopeful and grateful to have some one provide me with answers. I had watched the videos, read the books, and attended the classes...what was I doing wrong? Well, I was being a little too gentle. The LC showed me to really push Hudson's head to the breast. It didn't hurt!! I couldn't believe it. I wish I could say that small piece of advice solved our problems, but sadly I wasn't as good at being aggressive with his head when we got home. But we tried and we practiced and we cried and we consulted others and finally...we conquered. When Hudson was around 5 weeks old, nursing no longer hurt!! An accomplishment at last!

I should mention that without the support of my husband, the girls on the Nest, and the other new moms that I spent time with, I'm not sure I would have stuck this out. A great support network is imperative for any first time nursing mom.

But we weren't in the clear yet. I wasn't really prepared for growth spurts, i.e. periods of time when Hudson wanted to eat continuously. I vividly remember this one night...Hudson was up every 20 minutes or so...I was finally in tears telling Ryan that I don't think I can do it...that maybe it's time to break out the formula they gave us at the hospital. Ryan offered to get it, but before he got out of bed, I said "once we give him formula, there's no going back for me. I'm not sure I can be as dedicated to nursing if I know I have an alternative". Saying those words aloud was all I needed. I dutifully took my maternal butt out of bed and went to my "other bed" (the rocking chair). Ever since that moment, there was no turning back.

Throughout our nursing relationship, I loved that I could put Hudson to sleep anytime I wanted just by nursing him, that I could comfort him and make him stop crying by nursing, that I could share special moments with him each evening by nursing. On the other hand, I was starting to get worn down with being the sole provider of comfort (not that Ryan didn't try), that Hudson needed me to fall asleep, that I had trained Hudson to need to nurse to fall asleep. "It's okay", I would tell myself, "we just need to make it to 12 months".

For some unknown reason I had assumed that Hudson would turn one, fall madly in love with milk, and forget about this nursing gig. I couldn't have been more wrong! While I never actively tried to wean, I took a "don't offer, don't refuse" approach. Well, I didn't need to offer since Hudson made it clear when he wanted to nurse! It didn't help that he never took to milk (I tried cow's milk, goat's milk, soy milk, chocolate milk). So I felt obligated to ensure that he got the nutrients he needed.

At 15 months we decided that him waking up every hour all night wasn't working for us (not sure why it took that long to realize!), and we began to sleep train using the Sleep Lady method (see my sleep posts for references). This was great because it allowed Hudson to go to sleep without the breast. And this, I believe, is where the weaning process started.

We started to get down to 1-2 nursing sessions a day since we were no longer doing the night time one. So we would do morning and 5pm. The 5pm session fell off quickly and we were down to just the morning. Hudson would wake up early, Ryan would bring him into our bed and I would nurse him back to sleep for another hour. It was working until I got pregnant. Between nausea and exhaustion, I just couldn't do it. So I would cuddle him and he would put up a fight for a minute, but then he would find the "security mole" (the little mole I have on my breast that Hudson plays with to fall asleep) and calm down. We started this routine and gradually nursing faded out of our lives.

Last Tuesday, June 9th, is that last time I nursed Hudson. It was 4 days shy of his 19 month birthday. Leading up to that day, I would stare at him each time he nursed, realizing that it could be the last time. Sadly, I don't actually recall the details of our last nursing session, but I'll never forget the warmth of holding my little boy close to me, looking down and seeing his angel face, and wondering how I got so lucky.

I'm baa-aack....

Yes, so I took an extended blogging leave. It really wasn't by choice. One of my dissertation committee members agreed to be on my committee only if I could set my proposal meeting before the end of May. So you know what that means? Non-stop dissertating! I worked my butt off and now I'm happy to say that my baby has been handed over to the committee. My presentation was on May 22nd and I could have never anticipated it going so well! YAY!

In addition to dissertation bootcamp, I also was on a wedding marathon. Two weddings in two weeks in Long Island? Sure, no problem! We drove up to NJ on April 24th and then headed up to LI on the 25th for Abhisek and Sujata's wedding (college friends) while Ryan's parents watched Hudson. Our blind faith in technology had us trust the GPS to get us to the wedding. Apparently, Onyx (the car/GPS) decided that we should see the Lincoln Tunnel and midtown Manhattan on that beautiful sunny afternoon. Needless to say, we got to the wedding an hour late and missed the entire ceremony. We did, however, get to catch up with a bunch of Ryan's fratenity brothers (including 3 of his little brothers) which was wonderful. After the wedding, we made the trek back to NJ. Our return trip took less than 2 hours, compared to the 3+ it took us to get there.

Less than a week later, we headed to NJ on Thursday April 30th. We headed to LI on Friday afternoon for Jade and Jerrol's wedding (grad school friends). Since we learned from our mistakes, we took a new route (Oynx was not in control this time). Unfortunately, that didn't help. It took us over 3 hours to get there again thanks to Friday afternoon traffic and rain. Again, we missed the ceremony. Despite of bad luck with driving, we had a wonderful time at the wedding and a much easier return trip that evening.

The following day, May 2, we celebrated Ryan's birthday (which is May 4) in NJ with his family and our good friends, Megan, Jay, and Alex. Meg and Jay brought their adorable little girl, Izabella, too. We had a great time catching up and eating TONS of food (including Ryan's Dad's famous lasagna and sangria and a delicious ice cream cake).

So, two weekends packed with travel and one dissertation proposal have affected my ability to blog. But now I'm back and have updates on Hudson....

• Well, he gets cuter by the minute (seriously).
• He's (finally) starting to grow some hair, albeit more in the back in the form of a curly rat tail.
• He's starting to pick up words. Right now he says: car, cat, ball (although this sometimes means "grapes" if he's also signing grapes), juice, Mom, Da, Pop Pop, on, up, down, shoe, owl, out, puff, banana, and apple. I was SO happy to finally hear MOM!!! For the longest time both Ryan and I were "Da".
  
• His cognitive development has been blowing us away too. He's been doing puzzles for a while now. I still have no idea how he learned that. He also can point out a bunch of things in his books (i.e. if you ask where the butterfly is on a certain page, he'll point to it). Again, I have no idea how he learned some of these random words like bumblebee, owl, and butterfly. Just the other day, Joyce (our nanny) told me that he was pointing out red and blue blocks when she asked. He's our little genius!! CMU, here he comes! :)
• He LOVES to kick his ball around. We're convinced that he's going to take right to soccer, although we'll probably push him to go the Jeff Reed route instead (sans the crazy hair and penchant for hoochie mamas).
  
• One of his favorite games is when Daddy throws him high into the air (much to Mommy's dismay as she prays to Jesus that Daddy catches him and doesn't break his back). As soon as Ryan catches him, he immediately says "UP!!" and is ready to go again.
  
• He's starting to want to do grown up things. I've given him a little responsibility by letting him feed the cats each morning. He LOVES it! He runs to get the scoop, puts some food in their dishes and then runs back for more. If he spills any, he picks them up and puts them in the dish (although sometimes he chooses to put them in the WATER dish). He seems so proud of his little chore.
  
• He's still 100% obsessed with vacuums. Thanks to my Mom, he has two loud play vacuums that he pushes around all day. But as soon as he spots one of the real vacuums he comes running and just wants to push it all over the place. He even knows that our small Dyson is for cleaning the couch, so he grabs it off of the charger and takes it over to the couch. Hopefully his desire to clean lasts through his teenage years!
• He's getting really good at going down the stairs. We tried to teach him to sit on his bum and "scooch" down. As soon as we say "scoochie", he starts to go. Unfortunately, he's getting a little too brave and is starting to go without Mommy or Daddy there to supervise or he tries to walk down. For those of you who have been to our house, you know that there are 50 stairs (literally, we counted), so this gets to be difficult.
• He loves to empty Daddy's wallet (Mommy taught him well!). He'll sit there forever just taking credit cards in and out.
• As for his sleep, I wish I could say it's great, but sadly, it's not. We did make alot of progess with our sleep training (see previous sleep posts), but we kinda plateaued and didn't move forward. In fact, it seems that we're actually regressing at this point :(
• On a better note, he is eating MUCH better. He's finally eating real food and not just crackers! Still not drinking milk, but he LOVES cheerios in milk, so we're getting some in. I think the kid could eat 2 adult sized bowls of cheerios in one sitting!
• He's mildly obsessed with dandelions. If he sees them in the grass, he will stand there and yell and point at them until you pick them. Every. Last. One. Of. Them. He's getting brave and beginning to touch them himself.

• He just had his 18 month doctor visit. He was in the 70th percentile for height, but only 20th for weight. We so glad that the summer is here so that he can wear shorts and stop rocking the floods!

I hope to find some time soon to post more pictures. I just need to download them from the camera. I haven't even sent out his monthly batch....I know, I'm slacking....

Time to get induced!

One year ago today I was induced! The day went like this.....

It was a Monday and I was 39 weeks pregnant. I got in the shower that morning to get ready for my weekly doctor's appointment and asked Ryan if he wanted to come with me today since I was getting so close to my due date (Ryan went to almost every doctor's appointment with me. When I started going weekly to get my urine checked and get weighed we decided that he didn't need to come). He said no and that he would go next week if I didn't deliver by my due date (11/19). So I packed up my things for the day (after my doctor's appt., I was off to a meeting at school and then to pregnancy boot camp class) and headed to Hopkins.

The doctor's appointment started like every other one. I peed, was weighed (up 50 lbs to 191!!!), and led into an exam room. I saw a group of doctors and was meeting with a doctor I had never met before. She was really nice.....until she asked me the baby's name. I told her Hudson and her reply was "wow, that's my dog's name". Uhhh, thanks.

She felt the baby and said that she thought his head was down, but just wanted to check so she brought in the basic ultrasound machine. After looking at him, she was a bit concerned since my amniotic fluid appeared low (it should be a 5 and I was a 4 - I have no idea what measurement that is!). She explained that if the fluid is low, they may need to induce. Whoa!!! She dropped a bomb on me there! She said this ultrasound machine might not be completely accurate and she sent me over to the 3-D ultrasound tech.

I went over to that tech and she saw me right away. I had the strangest feeling while there. Of course, I wanted to make sure that the baby and I were safe, but at the same time I was hoping that my fluid was low so that I could meet my little peanut! After a quick look, she determined that the fluid was low and sent me back over to my doctor.

While waiting for the doctor to see me again, I knew that I was probably going to be induced, so I called Ryan. Well, I tried to call Ryan. While I was in my appt, Ryan's dad had called me to discuss the crazy Steelers-Browns game from the day before. I accidentally pushed talk and called his Dad back. I tried to nonchalantly discuss football, but I was dying to call Ryan! I finally called him and he was headed home and would meet me there.

I went back in to meet with the doctor. I really wanted to meet the baby, but I also was afraid of induction. In my mind, the baby would come when he was ready and I didn't want to evict him if he still needed to bake for a while longer. I asked the doctor to explain my options to me and she said that I could go without the induction, but I would need to come in every two days for tests and there was also a risk of "in-utereo death". Enough said! Hand me some pitocin!

I was able to come home and gather my things. It was really nice to have that hour with Ryan before our lives would change forever. We packed up our things and I squeezed in a bowl of Honey Bunches of Oats. We took pictures, said goodbye to the cats, and headed to the hospital.

On the way, we called our parents. I was calling my mom and her phone kept going to voicemail. I teased her that she should ALWAYS have her phone on when her daughter is approaching her due date! I was able to get in touch with her soon after and she was jumping in the car and headed to Baltimore.

Ryan called his parents and I don't think his mom believed him at first. She also jumped in her car and headed down.

We got to the hospital around 12p and I was given pitocin around 3p. They were going to start me on cervadil, but I was 100% effaced at that point. Now it was time for the fun to begin....

Ryan's mom got to the hospital first, followed by my mom. They told me I was having contractions, but I didn't feel anything. My mom was watching the monitor and was like "do you feel that?" and I didn't. But that didn't last long...

The rest of the evening is pretty blurry. I'm going to guess that it was around 8p when I started to feel the contractions. Then they hit me like a brick. I felt like I couldn't breath. I was squeezing the bedrails with all of my might. Ryan was talking to our moms and I couldn't even talk with them - I was in my own world at that point. Ryan's dad arrived and I didn't even know that he was there. I was trying to breathe through each contraction, but it didn't help. I had to do all that I could to take my mind to a "happy place". I was thinking about the Steelers winning the Superbowl (I am a true Pgh girl - thinking about the Steelers during labor!), putting my Christmas tree up, and Brett Favre (I have NO idea why I was thinking about him - I mean, he seems like a great guy and all, but he's not my favorite). This is also the point when I vowed to remember this pain and never have any more kids (everyone says that you forget the pain once the baby arrives, so I figured this was an important step). I was begging for drugs. Much to my dismay, the anaesthelogists were all in the ER with c-sections, so I had to wait.

When the anaesthelogist finally arrived, I was a bit shocked to see a woman, mid-thirties, that looked like she just stepped off of Haight-Asbury. She was wearing tie-dyed. And this woman was going to insert a huge needle in my spine?!?! And just then another contraction hit and I realized that Doogie Howser or Drake Remore could give me the drugs at that point for all I cared. I'm a bit of a freak and have this weird phobia about my spine being touched, so I wasn't sure how this was going to go. In addition to that, I was told that I had to sit extremely still and I wasn't sure how that was possible once a contraction would hit. After alot of squirting blood (according to Ryan), the epidural was in and man, did I feel good!

Oh no! That didn't last long! I started to feel contractions again! They had to adjust the epidural. Now, it was time to sleep.

Ryan and I napped for a few hours while our parents just hung out. I don't remember when exactly I woke up but I'm going to guess that it was around 1am. I was okay for a while, but then I started to feel some pressure. The pressure wasn't painful, so I was okay. Then I started to feel really sick. The nurse gave me this tiny bed pan and I knew that wasn't going to cut it. I had Ryan grab a garbage can and I rested my head in there and proceeded to dry heave. Since I hadn't eaten, there was nothing to throw up but stomach bile. I had no idea how I was going to continue with labor in this state. The nurses were happy since puking is a sign that your body is preparing to push. At 4:20am, they said it was time to start pushing and I shot up out of my garbage can and said "let's do this!". I had suddenly become a new person - I was about to become a mom!!

My OB was training another OB, so I had 2 sets of hands in my crotch. In addition to the doctor's there was about 8-10 other people in there (nurses, aides, etc.). My new cheery personality came through as I asked how the party got to my room and offered to get everyone a drink (I guess the drugs were making me loopy).

The pushing went well. I didn't feel it which was great. I don't mean to brag, but the OB said I was one of the best pushers she had ever seen (if that's something to be proud of). They asked if I wanted to have a mirror to see the baby and I said sure. BIG MISTAKE. One look was all I needed to shout "Take it away!".

At 5:25am, Hudson made his appearance. He came out crying and that was the sweetest sound to my ears. They handed him directly to me and I had 3 thoughts:
1. He's definitely a boy
2. He has curly hair
3. He doesn't have any toe nails (they were so thin that it looked like they weren't there).

I tried to nurse right away, but it didn't work, so the nurses took him next to my bed to get cleaned. Our parents were DYING outside of our room, so they peaked in to meet their first grandchild. Seeing Ryan and our parents over there with Hudson made me so sad. I had just done all of the work and they were getting spend time with him while I was stuck delivering a placenta.

After I got stitched up, Ryan looked over and said:
"It looks like Vietnam in here" followed by "Hey, that looks like a roast" (referring to the placenta). That's my husband.

It's hard to believe that one year has passed since that glorious day. We can't wait to celebrate our monkey's birthday with him tomorrow!

Daycare woes

If you're reading this blog, you probably have already heard me complain, complain, and complain some more about Hudson's daycare. I've decided to post my complaints here. I figured that maybe if I unload them, I can stop ranting about them. Okay, be prepared....

1. On day one, I was greeted with an "Oh Lordy!" when I came to pick Hudson up.

2. Following that wonderful greeting, I walked into the classroom to find Hudson on the floor crying while another teacher just sat in the rocking chair doing nothing.

3. Also on day one, I was told that he was needy and a bully.

4. Lastly on day one, I was told that he did "1,2 buckle my shoe" as his activity - he was there for 5 hours.

5. During the first week, I called and said "Hi, this is Jenn. I'm just calling to see how Hudson is doing". I got a one word response - "okay".

6. I would ask how Hudson was doing when I would pick him up and they would just say "he'll adjust" - not answering my question.

7. They gave him food that they weren't authorized to - I signed a paper saying to only give him what I provide.

8. That food was pudding...prior to us ever introducing dairy to him.

9. They didn't see anything wrong with that.

10. I dropped him off one morning at 8:55a and the teacher put him in a stroller. I came home and watched the online video of the center and she sat there talking to other teachers, while Hudson was just strapped in the stroller, until 9:25a.

11. That same day, I saw Hudson put into an Exersaucer multiple times throughout the day. One time, he was crying while the teacher just sat on the rocking chair, doing nothing.

12. As if this day wasn't stressful enough, I went to pick him up and saw that his crib sheet was all wet from what I presumed where tears. I have specifically asked them multiple times to not let him cry himself to sleep.

13. There were days when his teacher would past me in the hallway and pretend that I was a stranger and not even say hello.

14. Following a meeting with the Director about items 1-13, Hudson was moved to a new room. Upon meeting the teachers, they kept asking why he was getting moved there and stressed that there were no other kids that were Hudson's age in their room (i.e. they were far from welcoming).

15. Also when I first met them I told them that Hudson was to only eat the food I provide. They continued to challenge me and tell me how to feed Hudson, during which they mentioned that they feed the infants Pop-Tarts.

16. Upon hearing the Pop-Tart comment, I said that we don't give Hudson sugar. The one teacher defiantly said "well, yogurt has sugar in it!" (I mentioned that I gave him yogurt).

17. The new teachers couldn't ensure that Hudson would not cry himself to sleep.

18. Whenever I drop Hudson off, I put him on the ground and he'll start to cry. The teachers drag their feet to come and sit and comfort him.

19. I walked in the other day and the local hip hop/R&B station was playing on the radio.

20. Hudson routinely comes home with food plastered to his head. To do this justice, I took a picture of the blueberries smashed into his head (it was with my cell phone, so not a great pic):

I'll stop the list at 20 to avoid overkill :) I think you get the point by now.

First trip to the ballpark

Today, the "fam" went to Camden Yards to watch the O's take on the New York Yankees. It was a gorgeous day especially for Hudson's first trip to a ball park - to a professional sport for that matter.

Events like this make being a dad the best job in the world... they really do, I'm not just saying that. I can't help but think about how proud my father was taking me to the ballpark, and now I get to feel the same way with my son. That "passing down to the next generation" crap really tears me up.

Here are some of the highlights from today:

1) We showed up at the ballpark and I first ran to get a "beer and hotdog" at the concession stand while Jenn held Hudson and about 13 bags that we seem to need to carry everywhere we go now that Hudson has arrived.
2) I asked Hudson if he was excited about his first ballgame. He responded by drooling then smiling at a cute 2 year old girl walking by. He's a serious flirt.
3) While Jenn was taking care of Hudson (I had to focus on the game), I gave her a bite of my hotdog (which I was reluctant to do since it was so f'n good). She spilled some ketchup on her pants. I laughed at her and asked the guy next to me if I could borrow some napkins to clean up the mess my wife made. I told him that she's kinda messy and that I wasn't aware of this flaw when I married her. We had a good laugh... but Jenn didn't. She just stared at me. I wasn't sure what that meant at the time but suffice it to say that I'm writing this entry from my couch and Jenn has just brought down a pillow and blanket. I think it's for me.
4) We sat in the stands and watched a few innings of some great baseball!
5) Hudson nursed on his mother's boob while I nursed on a beer.
6) The Yankees won and we celebrated by stopping at Hudson's favorite BBQ joint (RUB - sometimes pronounced RUBS by certain senial senior citizens who won't be mentioned here).

All in all, it was a great day and I couldn't ask for anything more. I love my wife and I love my son more than anything in the world. Days like this make it seem like we live in our own little world and things couldn't be better... except for sleeping in my own bed :)